On a high school football field near Pittsburgh, an assistant coach tackled a topic unrelated to the upcoming game. “One of the biggest components of being a man is how you treat females,” Kevin Murray told his players at Woodland Hills High. “We’d be doing you a very big disservice by not holding you accountable.” At the jailhouse in High Point, N.C., a sterner version of that message is now given routinely to men detained for domestic-violence offenses and considered at risk of re …